Modesty for the Modern Catholic- Part 3: Modesty in Speech

Many men in my generation and younger speak to women, about women, and in front of women in terrible ways, using horrible language that tears women down and turns what God has designed to be beautiful and holy into something that is dirty and shameful. For many women, young and old, this type of speech from men is all they know.  Men either talk to and about them as sexual objects or ignore them, so many women feel that their worth is in their sexual nature, their ability to fulfill men’s sexual desires, and nothing more.  Many women—even “good,” Christian women would rather have this kind of attention than none at all, and so they not only allow this type of speech, but also engage in it as well because their own immodest speech brings them the attention of the men around them.     

Modesty for the Modern Catholic--Part 2: Why Modesty?

What is Modesty?  Modesty is the virtue of not drawing attention to ourself through our speech, dress, or conduct. Of course, this does not only apply to sexual attention--although that the most prevalent form of immodesty in our current culture—and it does not apply only to women. The Catechism states that,

Modesty protects the intimate center of the person. It means refusing to unveil what should

remain hidden. It is ordered to chastity to whose sensitivity it bears witness. It guides how one

looks at others and behaves towards them in conformity with the dignity of persons and their

solidarity…… Modesty protects the mystery of persons and their love. It encourages patience

and moderation in loving relationships; it requires that the conditions for the definitive giving

and commitment of man and woman to one another be fulfilled. Modesty is decency. It inspires

one’s choice of clothing. It keeps silence or reserve where there is evident risk of unhealthy

curiosity. It is discreet.—2521 and 2522 of the Catechism of the Catholic Church.

You can purchase Catechism of the Catholic Church: Second Edition from Amazon here!

Simply put, your speech, dress, and conduct guide how others look at and behave towards you. Modesty, the virtue of not drawing (sexual) attention to oneself, protects the dignity of both men and women, and promotes chastity until marriage and within marriage.

When we women use sexual language, dress in skimpy clothing and behave immodestly, we, albeit unintentionally, encourage men to see us as sexual objects, the means to satisfy sexual desire, and nothing more.   Why do we do this? All that attention makes us feel liked, beautiful, powerful, important and validated, albeit for all the wrong reasons.  Thus continues the dangerous cycle that has so damaged and desecrated God’s beautiful and perfect design for human sexuality. 

 

The result of sexual immodesty in our culture has been nothing short of disastrous.

· According to MSNBC, 30% of high school age students are sexually active

· One-Fourth of all high school students have an STD

· Depression and suicide among teens are at all-time highs

· 50% of all marriages end in divorce

· Only 11% of unmarried adults remain chaste until marriage 

· According to the National Center for Health Statistics, the average man will have 7 sexual partners over his lifetime, with 29% having more than 15, and the average woman will have 4 sexual partners in her lifetime, with 9% having more than 15.
 

These statistics are incredibly sad, but even more tragic is our culture's lack understanding as to how we got to this point, and it's of accountability and misguided response to these issues. As faithful Christians, we can promote and protect modesty by being modest ourselves, understanding the church's teaching on the subject, explaining modesty to our children, and shielding our children from immodesty fervently.

So, what does modesty look like? Next week we will look at modesty in speech. What does it look like? How
do we "demand" it? Protect it? Teach our children to value it?